Dark Affinity (demcee) wrote,
Dark Affinity

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Sunshine & Smiles: Reflections of My Life

this is gonna be a long one so grab the koolaid and chill with me for a hot second

today has been full of sunshine & smiles so far.. i thought i wasn't going to come to work today but here i sit typing up this entry. so many things have been changing in my life right now that sometimes i just stop and reflect. (make that like all the time.)

Reflecting for me is my own way of looking inwardly and finding different things within my own life that make me tick, love, hurt, fantasize, and so many different things. I see a lot of things more clearly that way.

I am a thinker and sometimes that hurts me way too much. I analyze everything sometimes with intense scrutiny and replay everything over in my mind. This morning in the shower I was going CrAzY with flashbacks and memories falling over me and I had to catch my breath because there are so many things that I had locked away in the back of my mind. The memories seemed to come rushing like a flood through me and before I knew it I had to run out the bathroom and to the window for air. I just stood in the mirror reflecting on every single relationship or personal contact I've had in the past seven months. I couldn't speak...I just looked at myself in the mirror and began to get ready for school.

Getting prepared for school this morning was fun. I have missed getting ready and going out so I made up for it this morning... It was the longest that I ever took to get ready just to go to school. I'm so happy I ironed/shaved last night or else I would have missed my first class. I definitely took forever after my little shower incident. I just took time to take care of myself and pay attention to myself. When Susan Taylor came to my school she suggested that we take 15-20 minutes out of each day to relax and take care of ourselves. Well I'm still working on my time limit but I got the relaxing and self care steps down.

The new Essence issue is empowering...I only glanced over the articles a little bit but definitely today I will read the articles that touch base with me. (Hey! Men read Essence also :smirk:)

Also the call this weekend from Twinz & Mario definitely made me miss high school stepping. Those were my boys and my family no matter how upset they made me! I truly enjoyed all the memories, the laughs, the dancing, the smiles and everything else with them. I think that just may be my next This is Me Entry cause I'm getting all giddy and stuff just thinking about the old days. I think thas what I'ma do. UH OH UH OH UH OH OH NO NO *booty dance*.... ROTFL

In other news ya boy is making moves up up up up but those details will be revealed later... See you later.

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