March 27th, 2005

Spreading My Butterfly Wings

"..been gone away from home so long couldn't even hear the birds sing outside my window.." -Darion Tariq

There is something calming and peaceful about being at home, something that soothes me. Home exists as that safe haven for me now but never did when I was younger. When I'm hurt, I'm in Jacksonville and any other strong emotion I need to escape.

Just tomorrow will be the new beginnings of me...and am I scared? For the first time in my life I am afraid to spread my butterfly wings and explore life. I am afraid of crossing that line from pre-adolescent into being a full fledged adult. But there are so many choices, so many roads I have to discover in life and this is definitely just the first stop on my journey. Never again will I open my mouth and say I feel stagnant. :chuckle:

My bitch ass attitude and definitely my mouth gets me into a lot more trouble than I could have ever expected I would be in. But I have learned to deal with my tongue a little more and just develop thicker skin. Most of the stress I cause is from me. I think the ability for me to replay all them damn events in my mind is just cRaZy...

Let memories just stay memories...

There is still no word back from them people and I have discovered the website for the entry form and whatnot. The deadline has been changed numerous times so hopefully I will recieve some word back on my short story. Even in that aspect I find it quite ironic that people genuinely enjoy my story, and want to read more. I feel in some ways that is another side of me that I am uncovering to my blog readers. Writing that definitely has me understanding myself a lot more and I am able to look at myself and see the pain and the hurt in my own life. The writing process is my catharsis and I am happy that my life story is touching people in many nations and various countries... Thanks for all the encouragement and comments. I truly appreciate them from the bottom of my heart.

Enjoy your Easter and do it up!