February 23rd, 2005

Revolution Inside Of Me

Revolution Inside of Me
The time has come for me to finally remove the blindfolds of love from my eyes
Dry the tears and silence the gentle child who cries inside
I want so bad to heal my internal pain
But with what, a faux emotional band aid again?
To be a man and cover up my hurt with sex
Get lost in names, faces, numbers and emails I’ll soon forget?
Only to keep running to the clinic
Scared of HIV or even Herpes Simplex
I am tired of learning another man’s past
Praying that “this one” will last
Sharing myself, my likes, my loves, my values, my morals
I’m tired of hearing myself say the same ol shit
I want no more of it
Lonely nights lying with my cell phone by my side
You said you’d call me, im trying swallow my pride and pain
Muttering “Fuck That Nigga” through tears
Throwing glasses against my bedroom wall
Screaming inside “I’m Tired Of It All”

I’m removing the blindfolds of life, wiping tears from my eyes
Tryna be strong cause a man ain’t sposed to cry right?
And people wonderwhy we can’t express how we feel inside
I’m through with trying to prove my masculinity with a durag,
Blunt in one hand, and 24’s on my Cadillac
Cause you want a soldier, Fuck That! I
am no less of a man because I like a man
But yet I’m “a good waste of meat”
And society says men created the “DL” lifestyle
I disagree

I’m claiming my masculinity
Taking back all the love I’ve been giving away all these years to other people
And giving it to myself
Real love with eradiate from inside of myself
No Human being will able to call me any less of a man because of my sexual likes and dislikes
I’m giving up living my life for society and the people around me

It’s time to be content and satisfied with what God gave me!