February 7th, 2005

sanchez runs through my veins...

i gather up
each sound
you left behind
and stretch them
on our bed.
                   each nite
i breathe you
and become high
Sanchez Poem No. 3

The gift of poetry and song are two amazing qualities I am happy I possess...I love writing in every aspect of the word from prose to my personal albums to free writes and especially my blogs. Writing is one of my gifts and one I use the most ... I love writing and I love Sanchez Poem No. 3!

Today is full of yet more practical emotions...I am seeing a lot more clearly and beyond the smoke in the mirror and the love that keeps my eyes in the blinders they're in. I have come to a place of peace and understanding in my current situation. I know the answers, I hear them as clearly as the beat of my heart in my soul, and yet and still I want to defy the truth. Am I somehow fixated by the fact of not being alone? Of someone full of youth and vigor, laugh and fun. What makes me happy is that same thing that makes me cry at night? And that is definitely not definitive of love. Love isn't pain like I used to sing about. Pain can be healing and pain can be good-and no not in the saddistic sense. I feel I have grown emotionally, I need to grow so much more spiritually and get in tune with the harmony of my own biological clock.

What makes a person mature? What gives someone the right to claim that with age comes wisdom? I think those words are contained in some biblical passage? I think I remember them somewhere. In my 18 years of living and thinking that my life was hard LOL with reading some of the life stories of other people and engaging in intelligent conversations with people I've realized my path is one that needs to be treaded on. My path has given me strength, wisdom, peace, and most of all peace of mind. I would not take back the trials, the tribulations, the lonely nights crying...Those made me the person I am and even though sometimes I still have yet to come to a place of total completion and of true fulfillment...at this point in my life I am completly and ultimately happy in totality. Case Closed.