January 31st, 2005

dear dear diary...introspection reflection

New Xanga Site also... http://www.xanga.com/darkaffinity
New Layout: http://www.darkaffinity.net ... and leave me a message on the tagboard

Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep
them
Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets
I know you'll keep them, and this is what I've
done



I've been a bad bad girl...


I think my online journal(s) provide me so much more freedom to do and say things I could never ever open up to even my best friends. I am fearless in my journal, I speak my mind, I say exactly what I feel without the fear of criticism or people like "Oh my God! Not You!" I feel liberation, and so much seclusion from the outside world when I am writing...it's a beautiful yet lonely thing at the same time....

I am listening to P!NK'S "Missundaztood" album...This was one of the albums that inspired my second album "Always With Me". The lyrics were so introspective and caused you to think and you felt...I wanted my work to be like that. I constantly developed my lyrics to bleed from the paper, to scream at you, to stay in your mind even when you shut the CD player off. And I feel I accomplished that through that album...I grew so much more through my music that go round...

Beautiful Heart makes me smile...That album was my growing up, "mature" album, I was much more confident and just went in and knocked songs out like it was nothing...Definitely one of the quickest albums to do from the start to finish. And contained one of my favorite songs to date: "Beautiful Heart"....

As I try to go into this 4th album exploring the different genres that influence me...I am finding many more roadblocks and setbacks. The process seems so methodical and boring to me...I want to create music so much more differently. We'll see this time around.

you's a snake...

i find it funny just exactly when i catch most people in lies or with their sneaky personalities...i think it's so foul but he knows it... im gone