January 11th, 2005

why can't we?


be like that
why can't we, you and me, we just
Be like that
more than friends more than we've ever been
Be like that
stop the shiness the frontin it's all about lovin you
be like that,
why can't we, you and me, be like that

3LW: Be Like That

I think in these 4 months of college I have began to explore so much and learn so much more of myself and know myself a lot more in totality than I ever did. I mean things as simple as sleeping with no shirt, bocers only or nothing at all give me a sense of freedom. Making decisions, fallign in and out love, admiting feelings, doing things that need to be taken care of, paying rent, and having to depend on me when I have a problem. I never understood the full extent of being semi-grown but I think right now I do.

Julius is cool, he listens when I talk (and do I love to talk!) and I love how he makes me smile. This tour and artist thing will test our "Relationship" but I just have to be patient and know my limitations and what I will and won't stand for. I told him about the whole Ryan relationship and he senses that I still have feelings for him. I know I still do have feelings for Ryan. Sometimes I think I always will but I can't let those feelings get the best of me, I can't let him play with my emotions. And I honestly feel that's the way it's goin be. I'ma be paranoid...Do I need some closure? How do I close this gap in my heart, how do I stop my heart from bleeding and being ripped apart? Why am I left with the broken heart in my hands?

And today the writing for the 4th officially kicks in...ooohhh its on ::smile::