October 5th, 2004

(no subject)

i imagine i am floating, floating beneath the surface of life, deep into the depths of my psyche, swimming alongside thought patterns, backstroking through the past, crashing into the bottom to a serene death. i imagine a place where heaven is full of sunshine and no rain, full of happiness with no pain. i imagine being totally free from chains, screaming to be free, escaping your body yourself and breathing as your soul. i imagine my life after death, what a splendid thought!

it seems everyday we are faced with choices, many choices. choices to roll out the bed, pick out ya head, or go back to sleep instead...i wish every choice i could make is a wise choice, not the right choice but a wise choice. something my mind and heart connects with. what a desire...i feel like i am growing and i dont make wise choices. i know what i must do but the struggle within is hard to face most of the time.

no one said growing up would be easy...
thought it was so beautifully easy...its never been easy being Darion Tar!Q


i have come to the facts that sometimes people choices are lip service. GOD especially about love. sometimes i feel as if i am the only constant within my circle. and in some ways it is true. i remain the same, growing or not, i look at MYSELF everyday in the mirror. When I am in that mirror I see my face, my shoulders, my arms, my lips, my legs, i feel happiness, i feel my sensuality, i feel love. And sometimes maybe yeah I think more of people than is really there, maybe people run over me, maybe that's just life! i have become content with who i am and i think for the most part i am learning to function and adapt without the support of everyone else.

i used to pray to be popular, now all these cameras around
be careful what you wish for
im popular and dont want it no more
but that's my life

Darion- 8:26

i somehow always back myself into a corner and strangle myself slowly. i lay on the bathroom floor, twinkling my toes and laughing with tears of happiness. is it wrong to love yourself, to realize your potential? to realize it's only you. friends come and go...love comes and goes...money comes and goes...peace is everlasting and if im lonely, cold, and hungry i would pray for peace of mind (food too sometimes lol).

everyone genius is misunderstood....

Damn why couldn't I be a stupid blonde sometimes?
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