even when those 20's stop spinning
and all those gold digging women disappear
I woke up this morning and I just couldn't go back to sleep...so I got up and looked in the mirror and was like "uh". Then I came over here to my computer and was cold so I put on some sweatpants and started going through my daily rituals. Upon stumbling upon some Mary J Blige material I began to "reminisce" about "my life" and how i have "no more drama" cause i can "Share my world". (LOL) Real Mary heads will understand that sentence. If not then do you! :)
I began thinking bout "all the changes ive been going through" and was just taken a back how Mary J Blige has served a good image for me through the years. Through the days I used to think I wasn't so ugly, I used to run from the mirror, I used to wish to die, I've tried suicide, I used to cry from just waking up, my sensitivity got in the way of my insecurity but now that is no more! Now all the drama, doubt, and serious insecurity is cast to the side. I still have my moments and my days when I'm just not feeling myself but for the most part I hold my head high and value my talents. And I think that's what draws me to me creating music. The power of changing someone's life, the power of words, the beauty of the human voice. :) That serves as some of my inspirtation in making albums, writing songs, collabing with other artists, doing music period. I do music for me. Maybe that's why I don't care when I get comments like "Why the hell are you trying to sing?" or "I'm not feeling the singing but I like the words". Everything isn't for everyone and I never said I could sing so people are going to think what they desire to anyway. That's one of the beauties in free will. And it's the ironic things that keep me puttin out songs and albums. Like "I Still Want U" on September 21st 2004.
This new album is honesty, truth, love, life, spirituality, maturity, me. I am so proud of the product I am putting out to the internet listeners and fans. Out of the albums I've done I think this was the easiest one to complete because I didn't have any ideas, concepts, expectations. The sophomore slump is over so now I'm just stretching out albums with good content and inspiration. And I find that on this album, whether the song is "Get Lost Inside" talking about just falling in your arms and you holding me or "I Don't Mind" where I'm saying yea i kno i act like a bitch sometimes and independent but sometimes I just need you here with me to love me. Then we got "Heaven Help Me" where I'm saying im so scared to lose my independence and "Fulfilment" where I end that chapter of my life. So if you cop the online download of my album make sure you listen to the words and everything cause this album has definetly a different style and a sound.
I Still Want U coming September 21st 2004
hear some new songs from the Soundclick page
and join the mailing list while you're over there. :)
In other news I think sometime in October/November I will be releasing a new song that didn't make the album or something. Just for more people who wanna hear more.
*Thanks to all who continue to read, support, listen, whatever. I'm bout to ride out and prolly hop in the shower.